The Thackeray vs. Bachchans saga is back to bite us again. Just when Raj Thackeray was barred from making any public speeches and just when peace was prevailing, Mrs. Jaya Bachchan had to go out and put her foot in the mouth.
For those of you who don't know (and that is possible only if you have not switched on the television even for a minute in the last few days. Every channel is doing a special on this and you couldn't have missed it otherwise), Jaya Madam was on stage for the music release of her son's movie 'Drona' and she went ahead and said 'Hum UP ke log hain, hum Hindi mein baat karenge. Maharashtra ke log hume maaf karde' (We will talk in Hindi because we are from UP. Maharashtrians, please excuse us). Raj Thackeray promptly took offence and demanded an apology. Madamji did give an apology saying 'it was an innocent remark'. Any fool worth a 2-cents brain can make out that her statement was anything but innocent. Her remark was intentional and was uncalled for. All she had to do was say a few good things about her son and his movie and go back home in peace. But no, she had to take a dig at Mr.Thackeray.
While these big stalwarts taunt one another and nurse their egos, they forget a very important thing - that they are in the public eye and anything they do affects the common man. Jaya can get away with this statement. She can be safe in the comfort of her house with police protection. What about those pani-puri thelewalas and taxi drivers and paanwalas? Those non-Maharashtrians have to bear the brunt of Jaya's 'innocent remark'.
No, I don't support what Thackeray is doing. What happened to the common people on the streets of Maharashtra was definitely wrong. Mumbai is the commercial capital of India and you can't expect only 'Marathi' speaking people to stay here. Asking for boards to be put up in Marathi or to make teaching Marathi compuslory in schools - all that is fine. But beating up paanwaalas is not the solution.
That being said I don't think Bachchans are any better. The Bachchan family has made Mumbai their home for decades now. They earn their name, fame and money in this city. Still, UP is so close to their heart, Big B goes and does an ad for his beloved friend Amar Singh saying 'UP mein dum hai kyun ki jurm yahan kam hai'. If you can have such undying love for your state, why do you object to Thackeray's views? And after you saw the massacre that took place just a few days ago, you had to make that statement?
I don't know who will have the last laugh in this war. But those who are crying are the movie producers and distributors. And the common man. So, Jayaji, next time you make 'an innocent statement', think about those innocent people on street who have to suffer because of you.
Showing posts with label opinion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label opinion. Show all posts
Freedom and Independence?
My decision to quit work after having a baby has got mixed responses. Most of the older generation women are extremely supportive and are beaming with pride that their daughter or grand daughter has taken this bold decision. Few of the girls of my age (cousins, friends) are happy too. They say they wish they could likewise. Some of them are paying heavy EMIs against their home loans and can no way afford to quit. There is this other group which is totally against my decision. On interrogation they come up with comments like ‘Baby is not the only thing in your life. Why are you ending your personal life for the baby?’ and ‘You will lose your independence and freedom’ and ‘You will not have any personal life. You will be a mom slave’. I don’t have an answer for them, and I don’t really have to convince them, so I just smile at the comments and change the topic.
I have never had a dilemma. Even before I got married and started thinking about a kid, I always knew I want to stay at home with my baby. Luckily, I found an agreeing partner in my husband. He was totally happy with my opinion but left the final decision to me. He never pressurized me or influenced me. Since there was no doubt in my mind, I resigned even before I reached the third trimester. Till date, I haven’t regretted the decision. Things might change once the baby is here, but let’s cross the bridge when we come to it.
I recently visited my Uncle’s house in a tiny town called Koppa. I was born and brought up in a village and hence like the country side a lot. I instantly took to the place and it brought back my childhood memories. My Uncle works as a Manager in a relatively new sugar factory. When my Uncle joined this factory, the factory quarters was literally like a forest. Trees and dried grass everywhere and lots of snakes. Nobody took the initiative to make the place a bit more habitable. All the women continued with their rant, but did nothing. Until the Chief Officer (something like CEO) came along. CO’s wife (as she is addressed by everyone) was the one who transformed the place. Every single day, she would gather a bunch of workers and get the place cleaned. The trees and grass were cut, the ground was cleaned. She built fences around and planted banana, chiku, jackfruit and coconut trees. Not only did the snakes intrusion dwindle, the whole quarters was enjoying ‘home grown’ banana, coconut and jackfruit. Why am I mentioning this? Is there a connection between this lady and my decision? There is one.
The CO’s wife was married off very young. She had kids even before she could appreciate motherhood. She was only 32 when her first daughter was married off. She now has many kids, grand kids and great grand kids. She recently stayed in the US for a few months to assist in her grand daughter’s delivery. I don’t know if she is literate, but I doubt it. For any city-bred, educated, working woman, this lady’s life is a sad story. She doesn’t have any freedom. Really? Is that how it is? The lady is strong minded, thinks and acts independendtly. She didn’t follow the other ladies footsteps and continue to rant. Instead, she chose to act. She didn’t need her husband’s guidance or other women’s support. She did all this single handedly. If this is not freedom, what is? She has her own personal life in which she does what she likes. Does she have a paying job? No. On the other hand, I know many working women who can’t even buy vegetables on their own. They have to depend on their spouses to fill their kitchen with vegetables and grocery. Is she independent? No. Is she working? Yes.
I am not justifying my decision, but I am pointing at the wrong assumption we all have. Freedom does not come from being in a paying job. One may achieve finanicial independence if the husband doesn’t snatch the wife’s salary away. But, is finanical independence enough? It’s time we identify the difference. Freedom is a state of mind. If you ‘feel’ free, you are. Having one’s own personal life is a side effect of that. If you start thinking independently, keeping yourself apart from the family, you will have your own personal life.
Look at your mother. I am sure atleast half of us think that our mothers are more independent than we are. I surely do.
I have never had a dilemma. Even before I got married and started thinking about a kid, I always knew I want to stay at home with my baby. Luckily, I found an agreeing partner in my husband. He was totally happy with my opinion but left the final decision to me. He never pressurized me or influenced me. Since there was no doubt in my mind, I resigned even before I reached the third trimester. Till date, I haven’t regretted the decision. Things might change once the baby is here, but let’s cross the bridge when we come to it.
I recently visited my Uncle’s house in a tiny town called Koppa. I was born and brought up in a village and hence like the country side a lot. I instantly took to the place and it brought back my childhood memories. My Uncle works as a Manager in a relatively new sugar factory. When my Uncle joined this factory, the factory quarters was literally like a forest. Trees and dried grass everywhere and lots of snakes. Nobody took the initiative to make the place a bit more habitable. All the women continued with their rant, but did nothing. Until the Chief Officer (something like CEO) came along. CO’s wife (as she is addressed by everyone) was the one who transformed the place. Every single day, she would gather a bunch of workers and get the place cleaned. The trees and grass were cut, the ground was cleaned. She built fences around and planted banana, chiku, jackfruit and coconut trees. Not only did the snakes intrusion dwindle, the whole quarters was enjoying ‘home grown’ banana, coconut and jackfruit. Why am I mentioning this? Is there a connection between this lady and my decision? There is one.
The CO’s wife was married off very young. She had kids even before she could appreciate motherhood. She was only 32 when her first daughter was married off. She now has many kids, grand kids and great grand kids. She recently stayed in the US for a few months to assist in her grand daughter’s delivery. I don’t know if she is literate, but I doubt it. For any city-bred, educated, working woman, this lady’s life is a sad story. She doesn’t have any freedom. Really? Is that how it is? The lady is strong minded, thinks and acts independendtly. She didn’t follow the other ladies footsteps and continue to rant. Instead, she chose to act. She didn’t need her husband’s guidance or other women’s support. She did all this single handedly. If this is not freedom, what is? She has her own personal life in which she does what she likes. Does she have a paying job? No. On the other hand, I know many working women who can’t even buy vegetables on their own. They have to depend on their spouses to fill their kitchen with vegetables and grocery. Is she independent? No. Is she working? Yes.
I am not justifying my decision, but I am pointing at the wrong assumption we all have. Freedom does not come from being in a paying job. One may achieve finanicial independence if the husband doesn’t snatch the wife’s salary away. But, is finanical independence enough? It’s time we identify the difference. Freedom is a state of mind. If you ‘feel’ free, you are. Having one’s own personal life is a side effect of that. If you start thinking independently, keeping yourself apart from the family, you will have your own personal life.
Look at your mother. I am sure atleast half of us think that our mothers are more independent than we are. I surely do.
Hungry eyes
A darshini in J.P.Nagar. Friday Evening. Around 8.30.
It was a long, tiring day. No mood to cook and no patience to wait at restaurants waiting for food. “Dinner at a darshini?”, asks my husband. Sounds good.
We ordered dinner, as in we paid for it and collected it from the counter. A young man is relishing his noodles. A couple is busy stuffing the kid with idli. The road is almost deserted - 9 is late in Bangalore. An empty table at the far end, almost touching the road. That will do.
As I am gulping down my meal, my eyes lock with another pair of hungry eyes. I look away embarrassed. The other pair continues to stare alternately at me and my plate. A tug at my heart, a wrench in my stomach and my mind made up itself to face the situation.
I walk up to the owner of those hungry eyes.
“What’s your name?”
“Asif.”
“Do you know Kannada?”
He shakes his head.
“English?”
Shakes again.
“Which language?”
“Urdu.”
“Kya khaoge?”
No answer. I can see he is embarassed, ashamed.
“Idli khaoge?”
His eyes light up. He is almost inaudible. “Bhel Puri.”
“Idhar hi ruko.”
After five minutes, the darshini-wala calls out, “One plate bhel puri.”
I look around to spot the eyes. They are no where to be seen.
Darshini-wala says, “Is this for that boy?”
I nod.
He and his colleagues start searching for that boy. He is hiding behind a car. They call him. He shakes his head.
One guy shows the parceled bhel puri to the boy. “This is for you”, he says.
The boy is still not sure. Reluctantly he comes to collect it. He collects the parcel, and walks out, not even once looking at me.
Darshini-wala says, “He comes here everyday. Some four-five times. He will come back again after some time.”
I ask myself, “Did I do the right thing?”
A nitwit on Orkut. There are many, you say?
While doing my routine channel changes, I caught a news clip on a news channel (I forget which one it was). Orkut was the object of attention and with the amount of firing hurled at Orkut, I thought my television set will go up in flames.
The gist of the story: A girl met a boy on Orkut and they became paly-paly after some time (I refuse to use the sentence 'She was befriended by him', that's utter nonsense, he can't be friends with her if she doesn't want to). She shared her personal details, including photographs of her family, her phone number, her address etc. After a while, there was a tiff among them and the boy went ahead and 'published' all her details on Orkut. The girl claims that the boy put her name and phone number on his scrapbook for everyone to see.
The news channel invited the Managing Director of Google
I am not pro-Orkut or anything, I know there are many pitfalls in using Orkut which many people don't know. (Read my older posts on about Orkut to know my opinion.) All I am saying is, don't point a finger at Orkut to justify your stupidity. If you are a nitwit, abstain from using Orkut.
PS: I really wonder how net-savvy this particular news channel is. For the above story, the headlines being shown was: 'Orkut hacked'. This news channel should have 'How computers work' and 'How internet works' on their wish list.
