Hungry eyes

A darshini in J.P.Nagar. Friday Evening. Around 8.30.

It was a long, tiring day. No mood to cook and no patience to wait at restaurants waiting for food. “Dinner at a darshini?”, asks my husband. Sounds good.

We ordered dinner, as in we paid for it and collected it from the counter. A young man is relishing his noodles. A couple is busy stuffing the kid with idli. The road is almost deserted - 9 is late in Bangalore. An empty table at the far end, almost touching the road. That will do.

As I am gulping down my meal, my eyes lock with another pair of hungry eyes. I look away embarrassed. The other pair continues to stare alternately at me and my plate. A tug at my heart, a wrench in my stomach and my mind made up itself to face the situation.

I walk up to the owner of those hungry eyes.

“What’s your name?”

“Asif.”

“Do you know Kannada?”

He shakes his head.

“English?”

Shakes again.

“Which language?”

“Urdu.”

“Kya khaoge?”

No answer. I can see he is embarassed, ashamed.

“Idli khaoge?”

His eyes light up. He is almost inaudible. “Bhel Puri.”

“Idhar hi ruko.”

After five minutes, the darshini-wala calls out, “One plate bhel puri.”

I look around to spot the eyes. They are no where to be seen.

Darshini-wala says, “Is this for that boy?”

I nod.

He and his colleagues start searching for that boy. He is hiding behind a car. They call him. He shakes his head.

One guy shows the parceled bhel puri to the boy. “This is for you”, he says.

The boy is still not sure. Reluctantly he comes to collect it. He collects the parcel, and walks out, not even once looking at me.

Darshini-wala says, “He comes here everyday. Some four-five times. He will come back again after some time.”

I ask myself, “Did I do the right thing?”

Being nice to rude people

During our routine post-lunch chit-chat, my friend made a gem of a statement - “It is easy being nice to nice people, but how can you be nice to rude people?”

I had been thinking about it for some days now and I was shocked when she made that statement. It was as if she was reading my mind. Many people would term it as a co-incidence, but I believe that incidents happen for a reason. This was no co-incidence. This was His way of sending a message across. But, I digress.

So, as soon as she said it, the words struck me. Few of my acquaintances are extremely sweet to me- always ready to help in any way they can, and I too reciprocate. I try to be nice to them as much as I can and all is well.

For the past few days, I am trying to be nice to people, and no where near being successful. I try to think before uttering a word so as not to offend anyone. But, whenever I encounter rude people, caution goes flying out of the window. Their act might be intentional or unintentional, but the point is they are rude. I find myself reciprocating in this case too. I use harsh words, sarcastic tone and I get a warm, fuzzy feeling for settling scores with them.

I know a few people who are nice to everybody. Even if someone is rude to them, they smile and act as if nothing happened - not a glimpse of anger, no teeth-grinding. I wonder how they can be nice to people who are mean to them?

Harsh words don’t upset them? Or they do get upset, but are capable of hiding it so well? Do they smile and bear with it only to bitch later and vent their anger? Do they feel superior to the other set and prove their superiority by forgiving? Do they feel sorry for the lesser mortals and hope they rise above the sins? Or is the secret word empathy here?

I will go on asking questions, but will never get a definitive answer. In effect, we come back to the statement we started with: “It is easy being nice to nice people, but how can you be nice to rude people?”

Your thoughts?

A nitwit on Orkut. There are many, you say?

While doing my routine channel changes, I caught a news clip on a news channel (I forget which one it was). Orkut was the object of attention and with the amount of firing hurled at Orkut, I thought my television set will go up in flames.

The gist of the story: A girl met a boy on Orkut and they became paly-paly after some time (I refuse to use the sentence 'She was befriended by him', that's utter nonsense, he can't be friends with her if she doesn't want to). She shared her personal details, including photographs of her family, her phone number, her address etc. After a while, there was a tiff among them and the boy went ahead and 'published' all her details on Orkut. The girl claims that the boy put her name and phone number on his scrapbook for everyone to see.

The news channel invited the Managing Director of Google India and what surprises me is that the MD agreed to it! If a girl is stupid enough to give out her phone number to strangers, what can the MD of Google India can do about that? If she didn't know that the rules of real life applied pretty much the same way to the internet life, whose fault is it? How can she claim that Orkut was responsible for the mess when she didn't her own boundaries? How can she ask the MD to make scrapbooks private? If scrapbooks are private, then how do they differ from emails?

I am not pro-Orkut or anything, I know there are many pitfalls in using Orkut which many people don't know. (Read my older posts on about Orkut to know my opinion.) All I am saying is, don't point a finger at Orkut to justify your stupidity. If you are a nitwit, abstain from using Orkut.

PS: I really wonder how net-savvy this particular news channel is. For the above story, the headlines being shown was: 'Orkut hacked'. This news channel should have 'How computers work' and 'How internet works' on their wish list.